25

Oh,
What a thrill,
To be mentally ill.
The walls of sane thoughts piled to towering heights up,
So when the dark flood came
Moving was not an option.
When the monsters started to come out of the ground,
You.
Welcomed the new world.

I'll stay in your arms
I'll let you rewire my brain while I sleep.
But I've been washing my hands darling,
And I've washed my hands a hundred times but this blood is stained deep
Next time you steal  yourself a soul from the dead make sure she can't get away.
You could drown in those eyes,
As  I do every.
Filled to the brim with sorrow, with the tears of the monsters she's kept inside
I've been at home here
I've been swimming inside of that sea
And I keep your name deep inside of my dreams locked up inside of me ,
And if we do part that's okay because that's where you'll alway be.
So when they require my brain i'll do my best and try to keep you with me
And away from the confusion and waves of mystery
You will get lost inside the tides of demons
Falling deep into their chests no,
Left without your memory, violently rewired away from me
So pack your things darling where I'm going you can no longer be
They'll come for me
Come for me
I know that some day you'll be sleeping lover
And I hope that you'll dream of me
I know that I'm fading
I am no longer me
But our hearts still beat the same
And the demons still cry oceans of envy
Because they can't hear our voices anymore

They can't hear me
Floating in the oceans of a dead girls misery

Do you feel real?

It hurts that  I can't be what everyone wants.
Or what everyone needs
And it hurts that I can't even be what  I want 
Or what I need
Because I am not enough
And I won't be enough
And I'll never be close to enough
And I'm just so damn tired

                             i waited
                                               
                                                               i waited
                   
                     i waited

                                             i waited


                                        and


                                             you never came back.

If you love something then let it go,
Send it back home,
Remember none of this has ever been real.
Like the seasons change,
So do we
We all miss the people we once used to be.
So cling onto those memories,
not to me.

I'm so sorry.

I died ten years ago, 
Lost somewhere far out in the sea.
It pains me to tell you this,
The look in your eyes tortures me,
But you cannot save someone who has already drowned.
You cannot save me.

24

Dear Father,

 Did you ever really love me

While you watched me grow,

Familiar faces of rage as you drank 

Until someone else had to feel your pain.

Dear Father

How does it feel 

Now that scars have been left

And promises  you will never fill

Innocence of children better not 

Father,

Tell me how it feels.

Dear Father,

Tell me how it feels,

With the childhoods that you stole and kept for yourself.

Tell me where you're hiding them, 

They'll never live long enough to haunt you

They'll never live.

Dear Father, 

Did I finally make you proud,

While I lie sleeping
Ten feet under the ground.  

24

I loved you head over handles,
Like my first bicycle accident-
Before the mouth full of gravel and blood,
I swore we were flying.