9/24/13

I can't seem to keep track of anything anymore.
Everything seems to be spinning out of control into a perfect haze of discontinued thoughts and half slept nights. The ideas of what I want.  Have long been lost in the repeated questions of  what do you want to do, and is that practical.
Maybe I lost it in those long nights, where the patterns on the walls seemed more important than anything going on.  Or in the dark circles of the bubble in questions that are constantly placed in front of me, never quite matching my own.  Maybe I lost it in the faces that have started to blur together in my mind, or the sleep that I continually can't seem to get enough of.
Maybe it was never there.
 Something that I created in the hopes of a carefree childhood, memories that you should have.  Covered in the adventures stolen from books.
There is a rotting hole in my heart, that cries out for the lost days and adventures. Where the time was never, and there were no days to come.
I don't want to leave.