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We are a combined effort of everyone that we have ever met. 

So much wasted effort. 

I have repressed self hatred.  Down to the skin that covers my bones, although I don't think that anyone has noticed. In fact I don't think that many people notice much these days, I'm sure that their newly purchased  app on the iPhone is much more important than the real world. And it makes me wonder, where are we headed.  Don't get me wrong I live on the internet. I'm a huge fan; It makes it so I don't have to talk to people in real life, and allows me to sit on my bed all day blogging depressing shit on Tumblr.  Which poses the next question. 

What if there was no internet? And I was forced to talk to, god forbid. Real people. Would my life be different? Would I still be a depressed teenager having a midlife crises, wanting piercings and tattoos that any adult would surely frown upon. Or would I have a friend group and go to parties, and someone in real life that I could tell everything to. As appealing as that sounds, spilling my guts to random people online is a lot easier than doing it to people that I know. Talking to a screen is one hundred times easier than talking to a real life face, and for some reason  people seem to care a lot more on the internet. I think it's because nobody goes on a chat room, or gets a blog because they have a million people to tell all of their messed up mental problems/past to.  It's because in one way or another their alone.  And when you find people, just like you all wound up in good music and anarchy, you feel accepted.  Except for the small fact that they live a million miles away. And that you still have to eat lunch alone in the library.  Yet of a sudden you start to open up to these people who are just like you, and tell them everything about anything. You start to think about them all the time, and start blow them up in your mind.  Suddenly they are everything you could ever want.   

And getting attached to someone you cannot touch is a dangerous thing.